I am not writing here about anything new, revelatory, or world-changing. You could read the title, absorb that, and be done with it if you like! Bye!
I listen to a lot of stuff. Podcasts mainly. And I’m trying to read a bit more, but I walk on that tricky territory of “I’ll read a bit before bed” and “oh no my eyelids are suddenly 15kg heavier”.
A bunch of concepts sink in though, and patterns start to emerge across the board over time. Today I’d like to share a little bit on enjoying, embracing and loving the process; or if you like “the journey, not the destination”.
Life is in neither the journey nor the destination.
I stumbled across this video a while ago and it really stuck with me, because Alan Watts, the speaker solidified some floaty thoughts and loose concepts I hadn’t understood yet.
He says it best in 4 delightful minutes;
When you think about the likes of playing music, or dancing, or leisurely riding your bike, or crafting something from wood (I am a simple, predicatble being), the magic happens when you’re in the midst of that (except sanding). Most of the time, when you’re having a good ol’ boogie, your aim isn’t to finish that dance as soon as possible. The enjoyment happens within dancing.
Life, much like music, happens in space between the notes.
More recently, when on an early morning sunny bike ride to work, I listened to A.J. Jacobs speak about puzzles on The Tim Ferriss Show (a quite enjoyable and interesting conversation, with relevance to life skills as a whole) and he told a great little story which sums it all up wonderfully.
From A.J. Jacobs;
One of the great Japanese puzzle makers, he was called the Godfather of Sudoku. And he summarized puzzles and much of life with three symbols. The question mark, the forward arrow, the exclamation point. You arrive, you’re baffled. (The) Forward arrow is the struggle. The wrestling with the — and then the exclamation point is the revelation. And he said, this is very Zen, he said, “You have to embrace the arrow. You have to learn to love the solving, because you’re not always going to get to the exclamation point.” So this is the ultimate arrow. This arrow goes on to the end of the universe. So I love that. From The Tim Ferriss Show episode #588
Embrace the arrow. Learn to love the solving, the process, the problem solving.
Defferred happiness and the Hedonic Treadmill
“I will be happy when” assumes that happiness is a thing which we tangibly receive upon reaching a place, finishing a task or achieving some goal, rather than it being a state we can step into at any moment.
One of those is finite and bound to transitory definitions. The other is infinite and boundless and transferrable.
“I will be happy when” defers and locks our enjoyment to a future time, place or thing. Then, if it is ever reached, we adapt to the new normality we have created and return to a baseline feeling which we had before. This is more or less the Hedonic Treadmill, and it’s a tragic machine which forces us to buy lots of stuff, wreck relationships, eat and drink excessively, and generally takes us further away from satisfaction.
I have suffered Defferred happiness and ran the treadmill in my life, a few times quite severely, and still do from time to time! When I look back on those periods in my life, in between my times of enjoyment and adventure, there was also quite a lot of frustration and feeling emotionally and physically drained. Sometimes quite conscious and visible, and other times a low frequency grumble.
We think the happiness is in the end, the exclamation point A.J. brought our attention to earlier. Happiness, life, is in the arrow.
Obstacles will crop up and bumps in the road will always happen because that’s what they do. Love them, welcome them in – “That which hinders your task is your task”
Do your work well, focus on the process, and the results will come.
What shall we do then Franko?
Two things.
Shift your lens – Give thanks for what you already have.
Have fun – Enjoy the process of whatever you’re doing – the results will come by themselves.
I encourage you to give yourself permission to sink into the depths of enjoyment of the bit of life which you are doing right now.
In this way, your happiness and indeed your life, becomes immediately accessible.
Anyway, enough nonsense and waffle and words! Chill out. Relax about thinking so much. It probably doesn’t matter.
Laters!
Frank xx
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