–The series- Introduction Net positive. Your attitude is your choice. Expect nothing. – You are here. Do your best.
“Expect nothing and you’ll always be surprised” Nobody in particular
Short Story
Keeping a check on your expectations, I.E. not letting them run wild, increases the chance you’ll be pleased with more of the outcomes presented to you.
In addition, you may open yourself up to more possibilities of joy which can be found on levels from small to large.
Reducing the pressure increases the achievement.
Long Story
There are a few parts which contribute to this one as a whole. First of all, a disclaimer; I am not saying you should go through life with such a negative outlook that you never expect anything good to happen!
Hope for the best, plan for the worst
Quite the opposite. I always have hope for the best outcomes in whatever I am a part of at that particular moment, because why wouldn’t you? I am a sickening optimist. But to expect that will always be the case is unrealistic.
I hope that my artistic skills are good enough, but I don’t expect them to be world class.
There are times in life where your expectations should be high. For example, if you’re in a situation which relies on a strong team, either in or out of work, then yes, absolutely expect those people to give their best work and efforts. Without that expectation they might otherwise slack, bringing down the output of everybody and risking avoidable and harmful mistakes and failures. Experience, sometimes our own and sometimes others, will teach us when we’re in these times.
We should at times also hold ourselves in high regard so that we ourselves can produce our best efforts and work. To slack through the whole gift of life is not a valuable use of that time. Aiming high is not a bad choice.
However, thinking that the high output, 100%, ‘always-a-success’ results will happen every time is a sure-fire way to get to burn out, disappointment and fatigue. Aiming high is great but constantly creating that pressure, and suffering it, is perhaps not so healthy.
So what is an alternative?
We have many a choice in our lives and one of those is the way that we look at moments within our days. We could host a negative mindset which picks up on the constant disappointments, frustrations and perceived failures which aren’t living up to what we desired; or we could harbour a more positive outlook and try to find the best in situations, the mini-wins and moments of joy from something we were otherwise not focusing on. This particular Value, “Expect nothing”, lowers the bar in our minds for success, whether internally or externally, which in turn allows us to see those smaller more achievable steps. It moves us towards goals which are internally satisfied instead of relying on outside events. And it can be so noticeable and widely applicable:
Throwing a party? Expect that nobody will attend. Then surprise! You have guests! “Thanks for coming folks!”
Gym session? Just show up. Anything beyond that is great! “You did a squat? Blasting it!”
Off to the market? We might find nothing at all……. Then treasure appears! “Check out these super rare shoes, bargain!”
Gently asked around for a favour? Expect that nobody can help. Then, “wow! Look at all of these offers!”. Aren’t friends amazing?
Starting a new business? See if it makes you feel good and brings value & meaning to your own life. “Hold up, there are other people who believe in this too? And they give me MONEY for it? Absolutely Bananas!”
Happiness seems to lie in wanting the things we already have, as opposed to chasing carrots on sticks (whatever our individual carrots may be).
In this masterful drawing, we see someone with all their expectations filled which they would ever need, on their back, where they can’t see them. But, the tantalising, colourful, appealing carrot in front of them is in their eyesight!….even though it may not be what they want or need.
If you are content to Expect only that which you already have, then haven’t you already achieved success?
Anything extra is an enormous bonus.
This style of thinking puts you partly in control of whether your life appears to be doom and gloom, but now on a Wednesday; or whether your life appears a more enjoyable, fun and rewarding experience on the whole. It would be foolish and arrogant of me to say, “Think like this and everything will be great!”, so as with everything simply consider this another tool in your box.
The flip side of this Value is that you can be that surprise! You can be the one to bring treats to colleagues at work. You can be the one to organise a surprise party. You can be the one to pay-it-forwards in the line at the cafe. You can be the one to exceed everybodys expectations, including your own, either through your actions or your efforts, or both. Then maybe, just maybe, you’ll have spread a little buttered joy onto somebodys day. Go you!
with sprinkles on top.
Final thoughts.
The great Forrest Gumps mother once said, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get” (unless you’re savvy and read the menu and match the picture of the chocolate to the real thing). Might as well let life surprise you in as many ways as it can and learn to enjoy those surprises as much as possible.
Lots of love,
-Frank
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